Without any warning, something hits you hard – and you realize it’s challenging to manage a life loss! Sometimes, you feel you’re drowning in sadness . . . cut off from good things . . . observing others’ joy at a distant like a dream . . . wanting so badly for “normal” again . . . just wanting hope to return. Yet, you still face your loss. So, how do you “turn the corner” in a loss?
Turn The Corner In A Loss
This is about your life! When you are hurting, turning the corner seems hard, even distant. Sometimes, depression has already rooted, and life seems empty. So, let’s get to work. How can things change? Since most of life is outside your control, what difference does it make to try to turn the corner in a loss?
As painful as this process can be, there’s a glow of hope attached to it – like the glow of a single candle someone forgot to blow out. And that candle speaks to your heart. “There are still good times ahead of you, special relationships to experience, celebrations to participate in, and joy that multiplies the light of a single candle into an entire choir of candles!”
But how do you get there? What needs to happen to turn the corner in a loss?
Promises From Someone Who Can Help
Because God keeps His promises, you can claim them in your losses. Here are some affirming promises to start with:
“I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.” (Jer. 31:3)
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified . . . for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Deut. 31:6)
“The Lord your God . . . takes great delight in you; He renews you by His love; He shouts for joy over you.” (Zeph. 3:17)
“You are precious and honored in My sight, and . . . I love you . . . ” (Is. 43:4)
Comfort
Promises are powerful. Comfort is real. You can have both from God. Since He offers comfort, take in this comfort by faith.
“May Your unfailing love be my comfort, according to Your promise . . .” (Ps. 119:76)
“Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” (Ps. 23:4)
“You will increase my honor and comfort me once more.” (Ps. 72:21)
The former verses present what God says on your behalf. These latter verses talk about how you will take His promises and apply them for your life.
Similarly, more Scriptures like these take you on a journey through loss into comfort as you work to turn the corner in a loss. Still, it helps to have practical action steps to make this turn. This means investing energy, resolve, and your whole heart into the process. And sometimes, this can be hard to do. But, it’s worth it.
So, let’s explore action steps that light your path. Eventually after giving your one candle to God, you come to a place where many candles glow all around you. He honors your faith in His promises!
Helpful Action Steps To Turn The Corner In Your Loss
This list of practical action steps helps you turn the corner in your loss. They also help you navigate daily life all year.
1. Be Honest and Real
Be honest and real about your life event and loss. You don’t have to pretend, deny, or sweep your loss under the carpet. It is part of you now.
2. God Cares and Loves You
Remember, your life is extremely important to God. He cares and loves you. As you draw close to God, He will help you accept and adjust over time. God renews your hope as you turn to Him.
3. Refuse to Blame God
Refuse to blame God. He did not pick you out of the crowd to pierce your heart. Quite the opposite. He singled you out of the crowd – and took the pierce that threatened your life. His work on the cross gives hope, even in painful seasons. If you are seeking to place blame, remember your enemy who hates you and uses this broken world to pierce people.
4. Be Aware Of God’s Presence
Ask God to help you be extra aware of His dear presence. When you bathe in His deep, abiding, dependable love, you release yourself into God’s comfort and grace. You will never regret this leap of faith. Consequently, you’ll find unexplained peace even in your pain. (Phil.4:7)
5. Move Forward
Keep being real. Weep. Be honest. But refuse to stunt your life or become paralyzed. There is more of your life ahead. There comes a time to wipe tears away and move forward. God is still good and wants to share His goodness and love with you. Will you let Him?
6. Manage Your Thought Patterns
Keep negative, downward-cycling thought patterns out of your head. These are not even part of grieving. They are self-absorbed and unhealthy, in good times or bad. Healthy grieving spends time with memories and then seeks to move forward, even in extreme sadness. There may even be anger. That is normal. Grieving co-exists with good that’s still present in life. Together, these two, grieving and good, take you to a better place. But it’s up to you to actively guard your heart against downward cycles that suck the very life out of you.
7. Identify and Fill Voids
As you identify voids, begin to fill them with healthy events, positive people, and new traditions. You are not neglectful or disrespectful toward your loss when you welcome new blessings into your life. In fact, by moving forward with your memories and wishes it could have been different, you validate your loss. Your memories and wishes affirm you have good reason to grieve. So, make the loss worthwhile by letting God redeem it. Fill voids and open your heart to His healing.
8. Build With Others
Proactively build with others. Even if in small ways, be adventurous. Try new things. Let courage grow. Make new memories with others for your future. In fact, let losses propel you into experiences and relationships in healthy ways. Don’t be afraid to embrace more candles.
As you apply these action steps, you’re being a healthy person. What you practice is what you become.
My Experience To Turn The Corner In A Loss
Although our life situations and details are different, my life is not that much different than yours. Sorrow slams into my world, too. Crisis works to beat me down. Despair whispers lies. Energy is depleted. Dreams get smashed.
So why do I still have hope? Where does the glow of my single candle come from?
Mt. 11:28-29 says, “Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”
This is Jesus, Himself, speaking. The God-man. And I choose to believe Him. This helps me rest in His active, medicinal love. And I am healed. But it does take time and resolve. Listen to this process of increasing the glow of more candles:
Coming to Jesus with weariness, burdens, and losses is the beginning.- Letting go of losses into His love and care is next.
- Accepting everything He wants to give – comfort, healing, renewal, rebuilding – puts a new path in front of you.
- Taking up gifts He offers means nothing until you take them. So open your heart and accept them.
- Learning next steps from the Man, Jesus, who had many losses in His life. He is helping you through a season of more training.
- Leaning into Christ’s gentle, humble, strong heart fills your heart with the glow of a miracle. His gentleness, humility, courage, and strength become your own.
- AS THIS IS HAPPENING – you find rest for your inner heart. You finally find the place where more candles shine brightly.
- And now – you can and must go forward in your life.
Summary
If God didn’t care deeply about your heartaches, He wouldn’t have sent Jesus to be your Savior, Friend, and dearest Companion. Jesus willingly came to suffer with and for His dear people to show God’s love, to forgive sins and heal bodies, to raise the dead, to comfort those who mourn and suffer. Then at the climax of His life, He gave up His life to pay the ransom for sin once-for-all and conquer death.
One day, Jesus will come back as a great, powerful, beautiful King. Under His reign, no one will suffer or die. Every need will be met abundantly. The aching human heart will be healed. No one will be afraid or lonely. Ultimate comfort will be your constant reality!
The good news? This King extends intimate, loving friendship to you – NOW!
Application Questions and Thoughts
So, the message of hope – the glow from one candle – is this: God is already in process of putting a path of comfort before you. This path has hope and a future. He will take you to a place with many candles – and prosper your life. (Jer. 29:11)- Will you let Him? Will you trust Him for this?
- Why not choose to come near God, even as He has already come near you? (Jas. 4:8)
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