Most people have felt alone at least once in their life. What about you? Perhaps you’ve been forgotten by friends or family, and you feel set aside. It could be your child or spouse dies, and you are left. Sometimes, you stand alone in conviction when others around you do what you know is wrong. Then, there’s a scenario you are seriously ill, so you must fight to survive. Maybe, you’ve taken a critical moral stand everyone is against, and you suffer by yourself. Unfortunately, you may have had to leave your home, and you have no idea if/when you can return. Perhaps you’re in a marriage you thought was a partnership, but you realized over time you are alone. To all these situations – and many more – I strongly encourage you to believe the truth. You’re not alone!
Loneliness
So, what is loneliness? Here are some synonyms:
- alienation
- desolation
- heartache
- solitude
- aloneness
- forlornness
- friendlessness
- lonesomeness
- remoteness
- seclusion
- withdrawal
Have you ever felt any of these? If you have, again, you’re not alone! If you haven’t . . . hmmm . . . I wonder if you are being honest about your life. Even Jesus experienced loneliness.
NOTEWORTHY: Being alone and being lonely can be different. While being alone can sometimes be satisfying – even renewing, being lonely is a place of need. Still, when people “feel alone,” they usually experience loneliness.
Life Is Hard
You’ve heard this before. In fact, we’ve talked about it before in previously published content. Life truly is hard. In contrast, life is also precious and has moments of beauty and deep meaning. It’s such a potpourri of experiences and conditions.
Sometimes, the state of the world causes me to deeply ponder. Sadly, so many people live in dire circumstances. Too many are starving, homeless, trying to survive war-torn realities, fighting just to exist, trying to raise children in less than helpful circumstances, and so on. These are the realities of some people – right now.
Then there’s your life. I’m confident you have challenges and struggles. Sometimes, certain circumstances and relationships can become so piercingly painful, you don’t know what to do. You may be navigating life through waters no one can do anything about – even if they want to.
Interestingly, even if your life is basically good and mostly calm, there are days you just ache inside with a feeling you can only identify as loneliness.
But – you’re not alone!
Jesus Was Alone
Have you considered how alone Jesus was when He lived on earth? He left His familiar surroundings – His perfect, exquisite heavenly home and His dear Father – to come to this planet. Without cause, He found Himself continually threatened for taking a stand for God’s ways.
Jesus was alone much of the time. Plus, He didn’t have a home as an adult. “Foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay His head.” (Mt. 8:20; Lk 9:58) Nevertheless, Jesus made this planet His home – a home away from home. Why? Because this is where His dearly-loved people live. So, “The Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us.” (Jn. 1:14a)
Rev. 21:3 says, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among people, and He will dwell with them. They will be His people, and God, Himself, will be with them and be their God.” That’s stunning!
Still, far too many times, Jesus was alone as He faced the religious establishment of that day. He was ostracized for loving the “unaccepted groups” of people and for having “touch contact” with lepers. Additionally, Jesus endured the Pharisees often trying to trick Him. And in the end, He was tortured – for what? For being good. For being kind. And for being honest. Additionally, for speaking the truth. Essentially, for being “God With Us.” Emmanuel.
Very, Very Alone
Finally, Jesus was very, very alone as He hung from a cross to carry out an unthinkable, extremely powerful, and utterly creative, secret plan to save people. As you know, even His Father turned away from Him as He hung and died. Jesus was very aware of this. At “about three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” [which means “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?”] (Mt. 27:46; Mk. 15:34)
If anyone knows loneliness, it’s Jesus. Man of Sorrows.
But That’s Only Part Of The Story
But, that’s only part of the story. Jesus also knew – with great satisfaction – the companionship of God. In fact, they’re partners. As He trusted God, even while being ostracized and persecuted by religious leaders, He accomplished God’s mission. He trusted God while He did good deeds and cared for people everywhere He went. For example – He fed hungry people, freely gave out living water, raised people from the dead, healed the sick and the blind.
On top of all that, Jesus enjoyed His life! Whether He was at a special dinner, in a boat, or even “in church,” Jesus lived fully engaged in the moment.
Jesus lived life well!
Remarkably, He’s also a man of great joy. Interestingly, in the midst of so much loneliness, Jesus nurtured His soul in the undeniable beauty of creation. Meaningfully, Jesus also pursued deeper relationships with others. Always holding out His hand of intervention and love, Jesus was known as a Friend. As a result, He was found at weddings, parties, births, deaths, and probably bar mitzvahs. Laughing. Crying. Listening. Healing. Comforting. Simply enjoying the people around Him.
If anyone knows contentment, it’s Jesus. Man of Joy.
Man of Sorrows and Man of Joy. This is Jesus who knew loneliness. And this is God’s Son – a Friend to the lonely. Your friend.
You’re not alone.
Hard Situations
Life is unpredictable. Consequently, there are times you feel the rug is pulled out from under you. Essentially, you feel hurt, sad, disappointed, and maybe even angry.
What do you do after giving your very best, and it still isn’t good enough?- What’s your next move after pouring into an endeavor that didn’t turn out well?
- How about the person who lives healthy – food and exercise – all their life . . . but they get the news of cancer?
- After befriending someone, they turn around and betray you.
- What do you do when you’ve prayed and trusted – and the bad thing still happened?
- How do you keep going when death invades?
- What about that raise you worked hard for – and didn’t get?
- Maybe you saved up just enough money for college or to retire, and something happens to eat into what you worked for.
Whatever your circumstances, you’re not alone. And I will keep saying this, because it’s true.
The Truth? You’re Not Alone
When you’re lonely – perhaps even surrounded by people – there is hope. Thankfully, there are healthy action steps you can put into practice. You’re not alone when you do life with God.
Here are some action steps to help with feeling lonely.
Helpful Action Steps
- Identify you are lonely. That’s the first step.
- Ask yourself good questions to discover why you are lonely. If you can change something, do so.
- Ask God for wisdom, strength, and creative strategies to manage your loneliness.
Proactively work to lift your spirit. Be intentional. It’s better than being stuck in loneliness. Interestingly, there’s power in rising up into a healthy direction.- Claim Scriptures that speak to your heart. Remember: God’s Written Word is alive and active. (Heb. 4:12)
- Hope in God when you are lonely. “Why, my soul, are you downcast? . . . Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God.” (Ps. 42:5, 11; Ps. 43:5)
- Some people find it helpful to journal feelings. Add a prayer of faith, too.
- Involve another person(s) in an activity or time of fellowship.
- Don’t turn to food. Instead, let food be an “add-on” to make special times more meaningful.
- Get good sleep. Too often, life has a way of stealing your rest.
- Get exercise. Take a walk. Stretch. Get your heart and lungs going. Incidentally, this increases positive mood.
- Make a favorite drink. Take time to enjoy it. Reflect on uplifting thoughts. Enjoy God’s presence.
- Call a dear friend and share what you’re going through. Ask them to pray for you.
- Rise up and practice joy. Since joy is a choice – you can do this.
- Focus on and practice Christ-like character.
- By faith, draw near to Emmanuel. “God With You.”
Helpful Scriptures When You Are Lonely
Jesus says, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” (Heb. 13:5)
“Surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” (Mt. 28:20)
Application Thoughts And Questions
- Are you often lonely?
- Do you believe God is with you and will never leave you?
- What specific action steps from this content will you practice to overcome loneliness? List them.
- Why not use loneliness as a platform to pro-actively know Jesus better?
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